Well, It's no secret that I am single now. And since I am out of work too, it's difficult to meet any new people... So I was thinking about placing a classified ad in the newspaper.. thought I'd get your opinion first.
WOMAN WANTED
A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc
- schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
1.Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her,15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:1.Show up naked. 2. Bring beer
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place . . . You married it.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place . . . You married it.
So what will it be? The Blue Pill or the Red Pill?
To me sometimes, it seems life is all about choices. You chose between the various options life presents you. These choices may be conscious ones, where you think and weigh all your options and then make an educated choice, or these choices may be subconscious ones, which you may call instinct, or even fate. But at the end of the day almost everything that happens to you is the outcome of a choice you made.
To me sometimes, it seems life is all about choices. You chose between the various options life presents you. These choices may be conscious ones, where you think and weigh all your options and then make an educated choice, or these choices may be subconscious ones, which you may call instinct, or even fate. But at the end of the day almost everything that happens to you is the outcome of a choice you made.
Whenever faced with a choice, we all would like to think we make an educated choice, based on the sum effect of knowledge gathered through life thus far. But with time, the way we think changes, it’s a part of life, as years tick by, our knowledge pool only grows, and what seemed a sensible choice years ago, may seem ridiculous and stupid now! You can either whine and grow bitter about the mistakes you have made, or learn and move further, a little hurt, but a lot wiser; this again is a choice you have to make. So it would be fair to say that not only is life a matter of choice, but also living with the choices you make.
When I look back at my life thus far, I can jot down a list of choices I made, some of which I am proud of, to this day, and some I regret deeply. Look back at your life and you will realize there are many such occasions in your life as well. Think about how you made these choices, and how you dealt with the outcome of these choices. I truly believe a person’s character is defined by the choices he/she makes, and more importantly how he/she deals with the consequences of the choice.
Seems pretty straight forward! Make the right choices, and live happily!.. err… not really, the catch is, there is no such thing as a correct or wrong choice, they are all guesses at best! Each day I get the thought, if I had done a few things differently, said a few words differently, my life could have been so different! Well these ifs, buts, could bes and wouldbes is what life is really all about! So I wish you all years of guessing your way through life!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Memoirs…
For the past seven months or so, I’ve worn quite a few different caps, one of which was that of a Bartender. Well it’s kind of obvious that a good bartender has to do more than just pour drinks and mix cocktails.. You’ve got to look the part and talk the part just as much. So whether it’s small talk to keep the guest engaged and interested or some discussion on the differences between Indian and foreign cultures or something else… Standing behind the bar for umpteen hours talking to guests from different parts of the world, I’ve definitely heard and seen so many things that I will never ever forget.
Thought it would be a good laugh to share a few of these experiences… noting some of the most common, weirdest questions and the most memorable things I have heard…
“Are there many gay men in India?” – Believe me or not.. this was one of the most common questions! Justification.. "Well we see a lot of Indian men walking on the beach holding hands, besides it’s quite common to see 3-4 men sleep in the same room, meant for 2 people!” – I don’t know if there is any correct answer to these, just hysterical laughter!
“Which restaurant would you recommend?” – What the fuck! You’re standing in my restaurant and asking me to recommend some other place where you can have a meal? You fucking idiot!
“What is the temperature of the water?” – Sorry I don’t know.. my thermometer broke! Dude relax, you’re in Goa! The water has only one temperature, Pleasant! Just jump in for God’s sake!
“Didn't we cuddle in bed last night?” – whoa… no we did not! “Yes we did, I remember!” – err.. No that never happened! I walked you to your room, you were a little pissed, that’s it! “You liar, you were in my bed, don’t lie, why are you lieing? I liked it! Alright, never mind.. how about tonight? You free?” – No please.. I have a girlfriend… “Oh c’mon she’ll never know.. okay how about a cuddle now.. can I come behind the bar?” – Damn this was most definitely the hardest any one has tried to pick me up! Made sure I didn’t see her for the rest of the week!!!!
“So, where's the party tonight? You want to go?” – This might be a bit of a surprise, but this is a vacation for you, work for me! Can’t afford to go out and get drunk!
“Do you guys do Happy Hour?” – Every hour is a happy hour, drink up! The “Happy Hour” is the oldest trick in the book to make the guest feel he’s getting a bargain, when he is not! Charge double the rate for a cocktail, and then throw in one more for “free”.
“Full power…… 24 hour….. no shower!” – Let’s just leave this as it is…
“God made whisky man made vodka, God made grass man made Cocaine, You have beautiful legs, I deserve you!!!” – Needless to say this was a laughing riot.. a drunk American oogling at a Russian girl.. and yes she did have beautiful legs, among other things…..
“Kakushka, Pakushka, bushka, aka paka da da da davai davai!!!” – The Russians are coming! Damn man, they believe everyone around the world knows Russian! My favorite reaction if someone speaks in Russian to me, I reply in Hindi! Simple!
“Are you good in bed?” , “I can tell you are!”, “Is Dominatrix common in India?”– An Irish women, who was out on her hen night, kept talking about Indian men, and their habits in bed… at 3 AM, needless to say it was weird!!!
“Cheers!!!” – What the fuck? The most overused word by any English person. I mean come on.. there should be a limit to how many times you can say Cheers in a sentence!
For the past seven months or so, I’ve worn quite a few different caps, one of which was that of a Bartender. Well it’s kind of obvious that a good bartender has to do more than just pour drinks and mix cocktails.. You’ve got to look the part and talk the part just as much. So whether it’s small talk to keep the guest engaged and interested or some discussion on the differences between Indian and foreign cultures or something else… Standing behind the bar for umpteen hours talking to guests from different parts of the world, I’ve definitely heard and seen so many things that I will never ever forget.
Thought it would be a good laugh to share a few of these experiences… noting some of the most common, weirdest questions and the most memorable things I have heard…
“Are there many gay men in India?” – Believe me or not.. this was one of the most common questions! Justification.. "Well we see a lot of Indian men walking on the beach holding hands, besides it’s quite common to see 3-4 men sleep in the same room, meant for 2 people!” – I don’t know if there is any correct answer to these, just hysterical laughter!
“Which restaurant would you recommend?” – What the fuck! You’re standing in my restaurant and asking me to recommend some other place where you can have a meal? You fucking idiot!
“What is the temperature of the water?” – Sorry I don’t know.. my thermometer broke! Dude relax, you’re in Goa! The water has only one temperature, Pleasant! Just jump in for God’s sake!
“Didn't we cuddle in bed last night?” – whoa… no we did not! “Yes we did, I remember!” – err.. No that never happened! I walked you to your room, you were a little pissed, that’s it! “You liar, you were in my bed, don’t lie, why are you lieing? I liked it! Alright, never mind.. how about tonight? You free?” – No please.. I have a girlfriend… “Oh c’mon she’ll never know.. okay how about a cuddle now.. can I come behind the bar?” – Damn this was most definitely the hardest any one has tried to pick me up! Made sure I didn’t see her for the rest of the week!!!!
“So, where's the party tonight? You want to go?” – This might be a bit of a surprise, but this is a vacation for you, work for me! Can’t afford to go out and get drunk!
“Do you guys do Happy Hour?” – Every hour is a happy hour, drink up! The “Happy Hour” is the oldest trick in the book to make the guest feel he’s getting a bargain, when he is not! Charge double the rate for a cocktail, and then throw in one more for “free”.
“Full power…… 24 hour….. no shower!” – Let’s just leave this as it is…
“God made whisky man made vodka, God made grass man made Cocaine, You have beautiful legs, I deserve you!!!” – Needless to say this was a laughing riot.. a drunk American oogling at a Russian girl.. and yes she did have beautiful legs, among other things…..
“Kakushka, Pakushka, bushka, aka paka da da da davai davai!!!” – The Russians are coming! Damn man, they believe everyone around the world knows Russian! My favorite reaction if someone speaks in Russian to me, I reply in Hindi! Simple!
“Are you good in bed?” , “I can tell you are!”, “Is Dominatrix common in India?”– An Irish women, who was out on her hen night, kept talking about Indian men, and their habits in bed… at 3 AM, needless to say it was weird!!!
“Cheers!!!” – What the fuck? The most overused word by any English person. I mean come on.. there should be a limit to how many times you can say Cheers in a sentence!
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