Knowing you've destroyed your own life is an ugly feeling....
Knowing you've destroyed someone elses life is devastating.
Tonight I find myself sitting at the beach, with tears in my eyes.. I am sorry.
For the first time in my life, I wana go back in time and live my life over, and do it differently.
For the first time in my life, I am ashamed of what I am
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Saturday, September 13, 2008
So long Pune… So long IT… so long 143643!
Exactly two years after I joined the Software Services giant Cognizant, I walked into the infamous H2 office in Hinjewadi, to finish up my separation formalities. It’s ironic that although I spent almost all my time in Cognizant at the ICC office, I had to come to the Hinjewadi office on the last day! I didn’t like meeting with a certain Mukund Dighe (he’s on the list of people I’d never want to meet out of office!).
Anyways, I went ahead and submitted my access and ID card to the admin, and got my first doze of dealing with life without a tag! I walked straight from admin to a door and started looking for my access card to open the door! Not a nice feeling!Met with HR and collected the coveted Service letters, two letters simply stating that I worked with Cognizant for two years, that’s what all those work hours count for!
The last few days in Pune were stranger than I expected. First off I was not used to spending time at home during working hours.. I made only special appearances in office.. 2-3 hours a day, on alternate days! I had been planning this move for a long time, so I never felt like I was going away or was going to miss anything specific. I didn’t know how to answer questions like “so how does it feel knowing you are leaving soon?” “what are you gona miss the most?” etc etc…I am touched and will forever remember the love and affection my friends showed me especially in the last few days. It was amazing… couldn’t believe I had made so many friends in Pune. I’m the first one to admit and realize that I have not been a good friend to many that have been good to me, but still to hear so many compliments and best wishes from so many people was really amazing!
I got nostalgic in the last week, and started missing people that I had not met in the last few months, friends who had left the company for further studies, gone onsite or simply parted ways. I was missing them all, for the very first time!Had a good meal with some friends before I left, Sandy also came down from Mumbai. But almost all highs in life are followed by downs… (at least my life!) got fever as I was leaving from Pune which qualified to Typhoid and then Pneumonia in the next few days.
Spent the first 10 days in Goa in bed, still a little weak, but much better.Settled back into my room, just beginning to start helping my dad and bro in their work. Cant help but feel I made an emotional decision again, and it might bite me in the ass .. again!
Exactly two years after I joined the Software Services giant Cognizant, I walked into the infamous H2 office in Hinjewadi, to finish up my separation formalities. It’s ironic that although I spent almost all my time in Cognizant at the ICC office, I had to come to the Hinjewadi office on the last day! I didn’t like meeting with a certain Mukund Dighe (he’s on the list of people I’d never want to meet out of office!).
Anyways, I went ahead and submitted my access and ID card to the admin, and got my first doze of dealing with life without a tag! I walked straight from admin to a door and started looking for my access card to open the door! Not a nice feeling!Met with HR and collected the coveted Service letters, two letters simply stating that I worked with Cognizant for two years, that’s what all those work hours count for!
The last few days in Pune were stranger than I expected. First off I was not used to spending time at home during working hours.. I made only special appearances in office.. 2-3 hours a day, on alternate days! I had been planning this move for a long time, so I never felt like I was going away or was going to miss anything specific. I didn’t know how to answer questions like “so how does it feel knowing you are leaving soon?” “what are you gona miss the most?” etc etc…I am touched and will forever remember the love and affection my friends showed me especially in the last few days. It was amazing… couldn’t believe I had made so many friends in Pune. I’m the first one to admit and realize that I have not been a good friend to many that have been good to me, but still to hear so many compliments and best wishes from so many people was really amazing!
I got nostalgic in the last week, and started missing people that I had not met in the last few months, friends who had left the company for further studies, gone onsite or simply parted ways. I was missing them all, for the very first time!Had a good meal with some friends before I left, Sandy also came down from Mumbai. But almost all highs in life are followed by downs… (at least my life!) got fever as I was leaving from Pune which qualified to Typhoid and then Pneumonia in the next few days.
Spent the first 10 days in Goa in bed, still a little weak, but much better.Settled back into my room, just beginning to start helping my dad and bro in their work. Cant help but feel I made an emotional decision again, and it might bite me in the ass .. again!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A new beginning……
It’s been a long time since I dabbled anything on this space …. A lot has changed since my last post.
For those who I have lost contact with.. here’s a short recap of what I’ve been upto the last two years…I joined a US based IT services company back in 2006, fresh out of college.. with nothing more than confidence in my “skill set”! With no idea of what Software Engineering is, I joined the mob of fresh graduates heading for a huge ominous looking glass walled building, with a tag hanging around my neck.
Everyone had their reasons, be it money, experience or simply because this was the only opportunity we had!Make no mistakes, I am not saying this was a bad decision, or a move that I regret… the two years I spent here have been immensely productive for me, there’s a huge list of things I’ve learnt here. From what IT means, to how to live and adapt in a new city.
But as the old cliché says, every beginning has an end… my stint with the Company and Pune had to come to an end. I am pleased that this end is not because of frustration or any external pressures, it’s ending on my terms and my wishes.
As some will know, I am moving on from Pune and shifting back to where I came from, Goa. Starting September, I will be in Goa, work with my Dad and Bro. This was a decision which was difficult to take, and yet in many ways it was a no brainer! A little older and wiser, I’ll be putting any knowledge I have into helping my bro in running his shacks at Palolem, and eventually starting my own business in Goa. This could very well be the worst decision I have taken in my life thus far, but it’s something I really had to do. For my own mental peace more than anything else.
I have always believed my greatest ability is self belief and confidence, now it’s time to walk the talk!I will most definitely miss Pune, and my life here, apart from a steady paycheck; I’ll really miss the relationships I made here. I discovered friendships in people I only knew as acquaintances, and made a few new friends as well. I really hope these friendships last me a life time.
I will try my best to keep posting on this blog, will soon create a space for my brothers restaurants also. Will also try my best to start using Orkut finally!
So until next time… have a great one!
Regards,
Akshay Singhal
It’s been a long time since I dabbled anything on this space …. A lot has changed since my last post.
For those who I have lost contact with.. here’s a short recap of what I’ve been upto the last two years…I joined a US based IT services company back in 2006, fresh out of college.. with nothing more than confidence in my “skill set”! With no idea of what Software Engineering is, I joined the mob of fresh graduates heading for a huge ominous looking glass walled building, with a tag hanging around my neck.
Everyone had their reasons, be it money, experience or simply because this was the only opportunity we had!Make no mistakes, I am not saying this was a bad decision, or a move that I regret… the two years I spent here have been immensely productive for me, there’s a huge list of things I’ve learnt here. From what IT means, to how to live and adapt in a new city.
But as the old cliché says, every beginning has an end… my stint with the Company and Pune had to come to an end. I am pleased that this end is not because of frustration or any external pressures, it’s ending on my terms and my wishes.
As some will know, I am moving on from Pune and shifting back to where I came from, Goa. Starting September, I will be in Goa, work with my Dad and Bro. This was a decision which was difficult to take, and yet in many ways it was a no brainer! A little older and wiser, I’ll be putting any knowledge I have into helping my bro in running his shacks at Palolem, and eventually starting my own business in Goa. This could very well be the worst decision I have taken in my life thus far, but it’s something I really had to do. For my own mental peace more than anything else.
I have always believed my greatest ability is self belief and confidence, now it’s time to walk the talk!I will most definitely miss Pune, and my life here, apart from a steady paycheck; I’ll really miss the relationships I made here. I discovered friendships in people I only knew as acquaintances, and made a few new friends as well. I really hope these friendships last me a life time.
I will try my best to keep posting on this blog, will soon create a space for my brothers restaurants also. Will also try my best to start using Orkut finally!
So until next time… have a great one!
Regards,
Akshay Singhal
Friday, November 09, 2007
That was then, this is now ..... (Part 2 and final)
Ok the scene was set, the four of us were the first to depart.. (not disclosing names to prevent any controversies!). Got into a bus to Pune, the first of many such journeys. With abosolutely no clue of where we were gonna stay, or what we were gonna do in Pune, heck we werent even sure where we should get off the bus!!!
Helped by my roomies uncle we stumbled into a hotel room, washed up and left in search for shelter..
Somehow managed to trace down a hostel that the girls planned to lodge at, and then the hectic search for accomodation kicked off, we didnt know it then, but this is a sport of sorts in growing cities like pune!
Xeroxed the classifieds from TOI after flicking it from a salon, and started frantic calls to members of the holy guild of brokers! By evening the early enthu was begining to fade away, we sat waiting for callbacks at a place called Go Bananas, (quite appropriate in hindsight!) a simple place with pizzas and Baskin robbins, we bumped into the first soul that was not alien in Pune.
By some freak of nature we landed a modest place before the night fell, and within one day of coming to pune, clueless as can be, we all some sort of a roof on our head!
We set out to inhale as much of pune as we could in the next couple of days, very easy to do as so much of this city is full of hot air! (Read whatever you wish to in this.)
Cognizant! Next couple of months was a disorganised unbeleivable boot camp. I have very litle recollection of my thoughts at this period in time.. its like a dream which you know had, but just dont want to remmember. We were split into various technologies, and as usual i was away from anyone I knew...
Java beckoned, and i answered, trained, answered a few tests, and was introduced to projects in November.
From then to now, life as i could have ever imagined it has changed, i'm doing fine as far as work is concerned, its everything else that i worry of.
A year later and things are still the same, some characters have gone, leaving their mark forever. While some like me continue to be the ghost of the opera..(i know its Phantom of the Opera, but ghost is more appropriate).
I am more distant from my friends and family than i have ever been, more directionless then i have ever been. To look back and compare myself with the person i was a couple of years back, i feel i did something wrong somewhere....
I have met all the targets i set for myself, but lost out on a lot in the process, its time for me to rethink, or in some cases time for me to finally think! and look at where i am headed, and the path i'm taking.
Certainity and i were never good friends, and much like life, i think thats way it should be.
Things have changed, and changed a lot, some for the better, some for the worse. One thing is for sure Life as i knew it, will never be the same again.
Ok the scene was set, the four of us were the first to depart.. (not disclosing names to prevent any controversies!). Got into a bus to Pune, the first of many such journeys. With abosolutely no clue of where we were gonna stay, or what we were gonna do in Pune, heck we werent even sure where we should get off the bus!!!
Helped by my roomies uncle we stumbled into a hotel room, washed up and left in search for shelter..
Somehow managed to trace down a hostel that the girls planned to lodge at, and then the hectic search for accomodation kicked off, we didnt know it then, but this is a sport of sorts in growing cities like pune!
Xeroxed the classifieds from TOI after flicking it from a salon, and started frantic calls to members of the holy guild of brokers! By evening the early enthu was begining to fade away, we sat waiting for callbacks at a place called Go Bananas, (quite appropriate in hindsight!) a simple place with pizzas and Baskin robbins, we bumped into the first soul that was not alien in Pune.
By some freak of nature we landed a modest place before the night fell, and within one day of coming to pune, clueless as can be, we all some sort of a roof on our head!
We set out to inhale as much of pune as we could in the next couple of days, very easy to do as so much of this city is full of hot air! (Read whatever you wish to in this.)
Cognizant! Next couple of months was a disorganised unbeleivable boot camp. I have very litle recollection of my thoughts at this period in time.. its like a dream which you know had, but just dont want to remmember. We were split into various technologies, and as usual i was away from anyone I knew...
Java beckoned, and i answered, trained, answered a few tests, and was introduced to projects in November.
From then to now, life as i could have ever imagined it has changed, i'm doing fine as far as work is concerned, its everything else that i worry of.
A year later and things are still the same, some characters have gone, leaving their mark forever. While some like me continue to be the ghost of the opera..(i know its Phantom of the Opera, but ghost is more appropriate).
I am more distant from my friends and family than i have ever been, more directionless then i have ever been. To look back and compare myself with the person i was a couple of years back, i feel i did something wrong somewhere....
I have met all the targets i set for myself, but lost out on a lot in the process, its time for me to rethink, or in some cases time for me to finally think! and look at where i am headed, and the path i'm taking.
Certainity and i were never good friends, and much like life, i think thats way it should be.
Things have changed, and changed a lot, some for the better, some for the worse. One thing is for sure Life as i knew it, will never be the same again.
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