Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Well, It's no secret that I am single now. And since I am out of work too, it's difficult to meet any new people... So I was thinking about placing a classified ad in the newspaper.. thought I'd get your opinion first.
WOMAN WANTED
A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc
- schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
WOMAN WANTED
A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc
- schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
1.Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her,15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:1.Show up naked. 2. Bring beer
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place . . . You married it.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place . . . You married it.
So what will it be? The Blue Pill or the Red Pill?
To me sometimes, it seems life is all about choices. You chose between the various options life presents you. These choices may be conscious ones, where you think and weigh all your options and then make an educated choice, or these choices may be subconscious ones, which you may call instinct, or even fate. But at the end of the day almost everything that happens to you is the outcome of a choice you made.
To me sometimes, it seems life is all about choices. You chose between the various options life presents you. These choices may be conscious ones, where you think and weigh all your options and then make an educated choice, or these choices may be subconscious ones, which you may call instinct, or even fate. But at the end of the day almost everything that happens to you is the outcome of a choice you made.
Whenever faced with a choice, we all would like to think we make an educated choice, based on the sum effect of knowledge gathered through life thus far. But with time, the way we think changes, it’s a part of life, as years tick by, our knowledge pool only grows, and what seemed a sensible choice years ago, may seem ridiculous and stupid now! You can either whine and grow bitter about the mistakes you have made, or learn and move further, a little hurt, but a lot wiser; this again is a choice you have to make. So it would be fair to say that not only is life a matter of choice, but also living with the choices you make.
When I look back at my life thus far, I can jot down a list of choices I made, some of which I am proud of, to this day, and some I regret deeply. Look back at your life and you will realize there are many such occasions in your life as well. Think about how you made these choices, and how you dealt with the outcome of these choices. I truly believe a person’s character is defined by the choices he/she makes, and more importantly how he/she deals with the consequences of the choice.
Seems pretty straight forward! Make the right choices, and live happily!.. err… not really, the catch is, there is no such thing as a correct or wrong choice, they are all guesses at best! Each day I get the thought, if I had done a few things differently, said a few words differently, my life could have been so different! Well these ifs, buts, could bes and wouldbes is what life is really all about! So I wish you all years of guessing your way through life!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Memoirs…
For the past seven months or so, I’ve worn quite a few different caps, one of which was that of a Bartender. Well it’s kind of obvious that a good bartender has to do more than just pour drinks and mix cocktails.. You’ve got to look the part and talk the part just as much. So whether it’s small talk to keep the guest engaged and interested or some discussion on the differences between Indian and foreign cultures or something else… Standing behind the bar for umpteen hours talking to guests from different parts of the world, I’ve definitely heard and seen so many things that I will never ever forget.
Thought it would be a good laugh to share a few of these experiences… noting some of the most common, weirdest questions and the most memorable things I have heard…
“Are there many gay men in India?” – Believe me or not.. this was one of the most common questions! Justification.. "Well we see a lot of Indian men walking on the beach holding hands, besides it’s quite common to see 3-4 men sleep in the same room, meant for 2 people!” – I don’t know if there is any correct answer to these, just hysterical laughter!
“Which restaurant would you recommend?” – What the fuck! You’re standing in my restaurant and asking me to recommend some other place where you can have a meal? You fucking idiot!
“What is the temperature of the water?” – Sorry I don’t know.. my thermometer broke! Dude relax, you’re in Goa! The water has only one temperature, Pleasant! Just jump in for God’s sake!
“Didn't we cuddle in bed last night?” – whoa… no we did not! “Yes we did, I remember!” – err.. No that never happened! I walked you to your room, you were a little pissed, that’s it! “You liar, you were in my bed, don’t lie, why are you lieing? I liked it! Alright, never mind.. how about tonight? You free?” – No please.. I have a girlfriend… “Oh c’mon she’ll never know.. okay how about a cuddle now.. can I come behind the bar?” – Damn this was most definitely the hardest any one has tried to pick me up! Made sure I didn’t see her for the rest of the week!!!!
“So, where's the party tonight? You want to go?” – This might be a bit of a surprise, but this is a vacation for you, work for me! Can’t afford to go out and get drunk!
“Do you guys do Happy Hour?” – Every hour is a happy hour, drink up! The “Happy Hour” is the oldest trick in the book to make the guest feel he’s getting a bargain, when he is not! Charge double the rate for a cocktail, and then throw in one more for “free”.
“Full power…… 24 hour….. no shower!” – Let’s just leave this as it is…
“God made whisky man made vodka, God made grass man made Cocaine, You have beautiful legs, I deserve you!!!” – Needless to say this was a laughing riot.. a drunk American oogling at a Russian girl.. and yes she did have beautiful legs, among other things…..
“Kakushka, Pakushka, bushka, aka paka da da da davai davai!!!” – The Russians are coming! Damn man, they believe everyone around the world knows Russian! My favorite reaction if someone speaks in Russian to me, I reply in Hindi! Simple!
“Are you good in bed?” , “I can tell you are!”, “Is Dominatrix common in India?”– An Irish women, who was out on her hen night, kept talking about Indian men, and their habits in bed… at 3 AM, needless to say it was weird!!!
“Cheers!!!” – What the fuck? The most overused word by any English person. I mean come on.. there should be a limit to how many times you can say Cheers in a sentence!
For the past seven months or so, I’ve worn quite a few different caps, one of which was that of a Bartender. Well it’s kind of obvious that a good bartender has to do more than just pour drinks and mix cocktails.. You’ve got to look the part and talk the part just as much. So whether it’s small talk to keep the guest engaged and interested or some discussion on the differences between Indian and foreign cultures or something else… Standing behind the bar for umpteen hours talking to guests from different parts of the world, I’ve definitely heard and seen so many things that I will never ever forget.
Thought it would be a good laugh to share a few of these experiences… noting some of the most common, weirdest questions and the most memorable things I have heard…
“Are there many gay men in India?” – Believe me or not.. this was one of the most common questions! Justification.. "Well we see a lot of Indian men walking on the beach holding hands, besides it’s quite common to see 3-4 men sleep in the same room, meant for 2 people!” – I don’t know if there is any correct answer to these, just hysterical laughter!
“Which restaurant would you recommend?” – What the fuck! You’re standing in my restaurant and asking me to recommend some other place where you can have a meal? You fucking idiot!
“What is the temperature of the water?” – Sorry I don’t know.. my thermometer broke! Dude relax, you’re in Goa! The water has only one temperature, Pleasant! Just jump in for God’s sake!
“Didn't we cuddle in bed last night?” – whoa… no we did not! “Yes we did, I remember!” – err.. No that never happened! I walked you to your room, you were a little pissed, that’s it! “You liar, you were in my bed, don’t lie, why are you lieing? I liked it! Alright, never mind.. how about tonight? You free?” – No please.. I have a girlfriend… “Oh c’mon she’ll never know.. okay how about a cuddle now.. can I come behind the bar?” – Damn this was most definitely the hardest any one has tried to pick me up! Made sure I didn’t see her for the rest of the week!!!!
“So, where's the party tonight? You want to go?” – This might be a bit of a surprise, but this is a vacation for you, work for me! Can’t afford to go out and get drunk!
“Do you guys do Happy Hour?” – Every hour is a happy hour, drink up! The “Happy Hour” is the oldest trick in the book to make the guest feel he’s getting a bargain, when he is not! Charge double the rate for a cocktail, and then throw in one more for “free”.
“Full power…… 24 hour….. no shower!” – Let’s just leave this as it is…
“God made whisky man made vodka, God made grass man made Cocaine, You have beautiful legs, I deserve you!!!” – Needless to say this was a laughing riot.. a drunk American oogling at a Russian girl.. and yes she did have beautiful legs, among other things…..
“Kakushka, Pakushka, bushka, aka paka da da da davai davai!!!” – The Russians are coming! Damn man, they believe everyone around the world knows Russian! My favorite reaction if someone speaks in Russian to me, I reply in Hindi! Simple!
“Are you good in bed?” , “I can tell you are!”, “Is Dominatrix common in India?”– An Irish women, who was out on her hen night, kept talking about Indian men, and their habits in bed… at 3 AM, needless to say it was weird!!!
“Cheers!!!” – What the fuck? The most overused word by any English person. I mean come on.. there should be a limit to how many times you can say Cheers in a sentence!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Life and It's Phases...
Some may say it's a little immature or even premature for a 24 year old to talk about "life", well to me it's never too early to retrospect and reflect..
If I were to note my life's achievements, crowning glories, defeats and loses, it would be a long list of disappointments, dotted with a few genuine victories.
I have always hated whenever someone tells me 'this is just a phase it will pass', but unfortunately that's the only hope I have. For if things don't improve soon, I think I'll go mad.. like seriously clinically mad! This is most definitely the saddest I have felt for as long as I can remember. I hope, like the global economy, this is as bad as it's gonna get.
I walked around the streets of Mumbai today.. well for only about an hour, and this city and it's people never cease to amaze me. Everyone seems to be going somewhere, on their way to doing something. Everyone, right from the slum dwellers to the corporates, are motivated to doing something.. The human spirit of "Never Say Die" is alive and kicking. Seeing all this I cannot help but think, my state of mind represents the weak section of human kind, the section that's given up on everything, waiting for things to happen... rather than getting things done. This is a very incoherent state of mind, total chaos and random thoughts, much like this post!
If Darwin's law of natural selection was extended to include current times, it would be fair to say I represent the species that should not see the light of day again. The strong survive and live on, while the weak simply die out. But unfortunately our desire to multiply has been instilled in our minds so deeply, one cannot imagine a case of someone not being fit to procreate, based only on merit.
I firmly believe one should not have "a desire to settle down and have a family" as one of the quintessential goals of life. I think each one of us must make a distinction between a relationship based on love and a relationship based on convenience. Allow me to explain the two....
A relationship based on love, is a marriage of two people by choice, by their choice alone. Not based on creed, caste, financial status or religion. In short, a non-arranged marriage. These relationships are the closest to my heart. 'Cause I believe this is what God would want (if there is such an entity). I feel this is the purest form of evolution. Only the two individuals who deserve to procreate should get and opportunity. The rest should die out to make the gene pool healthier.
A relationship of convenience is not just an arranged marriage, it is also a relationship based on well .. convenience, it is a well thought of, calculated relationship. After matching qualities, religion, money, physical appearance etc... This to me is most common, and most upsetting one for me. Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend just cause you're getting old, and need to find someone to marry is wrong. The justification of such a relationship is the fear of being alone, which I think is a pessimistic way of thinking. And something as pure as a marriage of two people should not be motivated by a pessimistic thought!
But then again, this is just my opinion, as of now, who knows maybe this is just a phase and I'll grow to understand, like and indulge in a relationship of convenience myself....... I doubt it though!!!
Some may say it's a little immature or even premature for a 24 year old to talk about "life", well to me it's never too early to retrospect and reflect..
If I were to note my life's achievements, crowning glories, defeats and loses, it would be a long list of disappointments, dotted with a few genuine victories.
I have always hated whenever someone tells me 'this is just a phase it will pass', but unfortunately that's the only hope I have. For if things don't improve soon, I think I'll go mad.. like seriously clinically mad! This is most definitely the saddest I have felt for as long as I can remember. I hope, like the global economy, this is as bad as it's gonna get.
I walked around the streets of Mumbai today.. well for only about an hour, and this city and it's people never cease to amaze me. Everyone seems to be going somewhere, on their way to doing something. Everyone, right from the slum dwellers to the corporates, are motivated to doing something.. The human spirit of "Never Say Die" is alive and kicking. Seeing all this I cannot help but think, my state of mind represents the weak section of human kind, the section that's given up on everything, waiting for things to happen... rather than getting things done. This is a very incoherent state of mind, total chaos and random thoughts, much like this post!
If Darwin's law of natural selection was extended to include current times, it would be fair to say I represent the species that should not see the light of day again. The strong survive and live on, while the weak simply die out. But unfortunately our desire to multiply has been instilled in our minds so deeply, one cannot imagine a case of someone not being fit to procreate, based only on merit.
I firmly believe one should not have "a desire to settle down and have a family" as one of the quintessential goals of life. I think each one of us must make a distinction between a relationship based on love and a relationship based on convenience. Allow me to explain the two....
A relationship based on love, is a marriage of two people by choice, by their choice alone. Not based on creed, caste, financial status or religion. In short, a non-arranged marriage. These relationships are the closest to my heart. 'Cause I believe this is what God would want (if there is such an entity). I feel this is the purest form of evolution. Only the two individuals who deserve to procreate should get and opportunity. The rest should die out to make the gene pool healthier.
A relationship of convenience is not just an arranged marriage, it is also a relationship based on well .. convenience, it is a well thought of, calculated relationship. After matching qualities, religion, money, physical appearance etc... This to me is most common, and most upsetting one for me. Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend just cause you're getting old, and need to find someone to marry is wrong. The justification of such a relationship is the fear of being alone, which I think is a pessimistic way of thinking. And something as pure as a marriage of two people should not be motivated by a pessimistic thought!
But then again, this is just my opinion, as of now, who knows maybe this is just a phase and I'll grow to understand, like and indulge in a relationship of convenience myself....... I doubt it though!!!
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